Learning to Love Myself

I'm taking a tip from my cat Matisse, whom you see above in his blue period, and I'm learning to love myself.....again. I practice this, but it doesn't seem to stick for very long. It's easy to forget, when I get caught up in the tasks and responsibilities of everyday life, that I need to love myself even while doing all those seemingly ordinary things. And it can sound pretty silly at times, the idea that I need to practice loving myself. After all, who am I to think it's okay to love myself? Or to even think about it. Nobody told me to do that when I was growing up.  In fact, it was discouraged. Loving myself would make me become conceited, spoiled, and a snob with a swelled head and a big ego. Our culture tells us these things.  Unfortunately, I listened to the discouraging voices that had made a home in my head and I learned to doubt and berate myself whenever the opportunity arose.  

I know better now, but it's hard to change thought patterns that are very entrenched in the mind. Awareness is the key.  It is most easily developed through practices such as meditation, contemplation, prayer, yoga, or reading spiritual works. Through awareness, or being the Witness, it is possible to become an observer of the thoughts in the mind that are not beneficial to our happiness or growth as a human and spiritual being. This very witnessing of the mind is what can change negative habitual thinking into a more positive and uplifting experience.  It is a process, and not accomplished overnight, but the practice can create a transformation in every aspect of our lives. With the positive change in our thoughts comes a positive change in our feeling.  Our positive feeling has the capacity to hold love more fully than negative feeling.  The kind of love that I am talking about is not that which we get from circumstances outside of ourselves.  It comes welling up freely from within. 

  

Acrylic Mixed Media Painting in Layers

The e-course with Kelly Rae Roberts has finished in one sense but it will continue to grow my creative life in countless ways. This painting was made during the course, inspired by a photograph of me at about 15 with my Scottish Terrier, Junior. Cats have taken over my life now but every time I see a long haired fuzzy doggie, I melt.

This mixed media painting is layered with torn scrapbook paper and text from old books as a background. I used Claudine Hellmuth's acrylic paints mixed with Liquitex Matte Medium to glaze layers over the paper background. Claudine also has a matte medium in her line.

I built up the layers of transparent glazes for the girl and doggie. As I got to the final layers I made the glazes more opaque by adding a little white or by using less medium depending on the look I needed. Texture from layers of brush stokes and paper become more interesting as the process continues.

The final layer (the fine hair and the eyes and nose) for the doggie was created with black dimensional Scribbles paint. Paint by Tim Holtz that dries to a crackle finish was used all around the edges of the painting to give an aged look. Gold metallic paint, Tim Holtz Grungeboard letters , and an antique key are the final touches.

If you want to know anything more about the process, please leave your question in the comment section.

Late Breaking News....

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Two paintings recently sold [well.... ok......last summer] at the Art and Soul Gallery in Ogunquit, Maine: Velvet Night Angel, top and center, and They said she was too young to be in love, bottom.

The latter painting is particularly special to me because I used a photo of my mother, taken around 1944 when she was 18. I used acrylic paint for the background, patterned paper for the green and yellow areas, a hand stamped and baked charm [LOVE] made from the unfortunately named "shrink plastic". As the sheet plastic is baked in a toaster oven it is reduced in size by about 30% and gets thicker and stronger. I'll have a whole tutorial on shrink plastic in a future post. It's really fun to use and has unlimited design possibilities. The charm at the top is also made from the same material and stamped with an original hand carved stamp [another great project]. The words were done on the computer with a font designed in an old fashioned typewriter style. All the collage elements were adhered with acrylic matte medium to a stretched canvas. I use Liquitex or Golden mediums.

Both paintings are what I would call mixed media collage on canvas. The Velvet Night painting uses acrylic paints, dioxizine purple and pthalo blue, in various ratios to create the night sky. Fabric was used for the dress, the ground, and the rectangular piece on the left, which was painted with fabric paint and stamped with a hand carved stamp.

The flower is a copyright free black and white drawing [Dover Publications] that I painted with acrylics. Upper right is a postage type stamp in sticker form and the lower right shows a hand stamped polymer clay piece brushed with Jacquard metallic powders and baked in a toaster oven. The raised areas of gold are made with dimmentional paint such as Scribbles. Last were added a tiny lock and a key. The top triangle piece is made from foam core and covered with watercolor paper. It is painted in acrylic, with another rectangular shaped polymer clay piece. Individual rubber stamp letters are used to create the wording.
Don't know why there's a big gap here, but keep scrolling down for more. There IS more, I promise!!

Here Today, Gone Today!

A few days ago, I posted this painting on my blog and wrote a wonderful tutorial in great detail on how it was created. Well, my mistake was going back into the post to make a few small changes. And what do you know, POOF, in one absentminded click, the entire post was gone. Not being someone who favors writing all that much, I found this quite discouraging. I've never kept a journal as so many artists do, or a sketchbook like all my teachers told me to do. I always just preferred getting right to my next project. Kind of like people who don't do a gauge swatch before knitting a nice sweater that turns out to be a beach cover-up for a rhino. I wasn't born with blogger genes.



Anyway, my cute little "everything's coming up kittens" painting/collage shown above was created using: for the background, acrylic paints mixed with matte medium as a glaze over a layer of torn paper text; fabric for the flower, ground, kitten, and moon; cut paper for the stem and leaves; the line work was achieved by using a dimensional paint (such as Scribbles) from a squeeze bottle. I brushed a bit of acrylic paint over the leaves and stem. For the lettering I used one of those liquid white pens that you have to shake. But I had to go over the lettering again because it came out too light. That was scary, because it had to be perfectly aligned with the first rendition. It worked out well, but now I'm experimenting with various white gel pens that I purchased from Jet Pens on the Internet. The ink must be waterproof so that when you seal the painting with an acrylic varnish, it will not dissolve, and it must adhere to acrylic paint. I'll let you know what I find.



Please ask questions about any aspect of my blog, including more detailed explanations of techniques and materials, in the comments section or email me. Just click on my profile picture for a link to email.

Silver Heart Collage

This collage was created on a stretched canvas using lots of heavy gel medium for the background texture. Layers of acrylic paints came next followed by a strip of fabric, my handwriting on paper adhered with matte medium and two polymer clay items. The heart shape was made from a mold of a metal heart that I made from polymer clay. I baked the mold, then used it to make more hearts. I painted it with a silver metallic acrylic paint. I painted over the silver with black and them rubbed it off immediately with a paper towel to reveal the pattern of holes in the heart. The bottom polymer piece was stamped with two of my handmade stamps. The tag that says "breathe" was made from shrink plastic, a versatile and fun medium that shrinks and thickens when you bake it.

A is for Art

Here is another example of one of my favorite techniques of collage art. Claudine Hellmuth is one of the most prominent artists using this technique today. It consists of gathering vintage photos and using part of that photo, usually the face of a relative or in the case of the above art piece, oneself. Yes that is a photo of me in one of the cute little hats my mother made for me. The face is mine as well as the hands. The rest of the piece is drawn, painted and collaged. I started with a heavy application of white gesso onto an 8"x10" stretched canvas to provide the texture, then added the blue for the sky with Liquitex acrylic paint, a dark turquoise green for the ground with a lighter, more neutral green brushed lightly on top to reveal the darker green underneath. The purpose of the different layers and the texture is to create more interest than just one solid smooth color could do.

The band across the top was created by layering different papers and distressing them with Distress Ink Pads. I used a commercial rubber stamp for the letter "A", and outlined it with dimenional Scribble Paint in gold. I hand lettered the word "Art". The word "Love" was hand stamped onto a sheet of shrink plastic and heated in the toaster oven until it thickened and shrank in length and width to about 30% its original size. Again, I outlined the shape with dimensional paint in gold.

Simple shapes were drawn and cut from decorative papers for the dress and feet. A little bit of line drawing was done with a waterproof fine tipped felt pen for the shoes and socks and the number on the dress was stamped onto paper and outlined with the gold dimensional paint. All collage elements were adhered using either Liquitex acrylic matte medium or gel matte medium depending on the heaviness of the material. As I went along I coated all collage elements with the matte medium as I adhered them and brushed on the medium over the entire canvas when I finished the piece. The number 12 refers to the date of my birth in case you didn't guess. And I don't mean 1912. I mean the day of the month. That's all I'll say.

I would be glad to answer any questions about the techniques used in creating this piece. Just leave me a note in the comments section for this post.